Sweet Wheatless

Thanksgiving 2010: The (Developing) Menu

2010-11-17T07:04:00.000-08:00

This Thanksgiving will entail many firsts: the first major dinner of sorts held in my home, my first Thanksgiving not spent with my own or someone else's family, the first with my outstanding new roommate, the first with an assortment of transplants who have nowhere else to go that day (or for whom this is one stop of several).

I am not cooking anything with meat or even attempting a meat analogue. (Sorry, lentil loaf.) While others will be bringing various dishes, I want to prepare enough so everyone is well fed. Here's my prospective menu, filled with vegetarian, vegan, easy-to-prepare options:

--Elotes
--Roasted sweet potatoes with molasses and marshmallow fluff
--Mashed potatoes and gravy
--Wild rice pilaf with fresh herbs
--Roasted brussels sprouts
--Pumpkin hummus with vegan focaccia (recipe from Celiac Teen, super excited to try it)

I'm still thinking of one or two more dishes to prepare. I finally get to rock these gorgeous hand painted serving bowls that were a gift from my mother a year ago.

I'm torn on dessert. Part of me wants to try my hand at tart making (which is stupid, since I've never made one and don't really have time to practice), but I'm leaning more towards making the carrot cake with ginger frosting (veganized, of course) from the recently published Gluten-Free Girl and the Chef cookbook. I also have caramel sauce that I'd like to use in something, so I might make molasses cookies with candied ginger.

I'll admit that I'm a little nervous. I'm in search of the perfect apron to go with the perfect faux-vintage dress and open-toed heels, just so I feel appropriately housewife-ish. (I know, it's silly ain't it?) But I am excited to bring people together and eat what I hope will be delicious food. Just don't sneak bites of turkey to my cat, or I'll fucking kill you.

The Accidental Iodine Test

2010-09-17T06:04:00.000-07:00

Ye olde internet, you save me from so much worry and fuss, yet you've created a huge hypochondriac of me.

In treating a cut, I used iodine to help clean it, and put extra on the bandage for good measure. The skin under the bandage started burning (huh, weird) and HUGE blisters formed. WTF, right?

I didn't know this, but it turns out that people with a particular form of gluten intolerance called dermatitis herpetiformis have cutaneous reactions to anything containing gluten that's either ingested or topically applied, including and especially iodine. And this is the type of reaction one gets.

I've never been conclusively diagnosed for DH, but I guess I know for certain now. Yikes.

Apple-Molasses Bars Recipe

2010-06-23T08:51:00.000-07:00

After receiving a megachain bookstore gift card for donating my saliva to science, and having on top of this a 20% off coupon, I decided to treat myself to a new cookbook: Flying Apron's Gluten-Free and Vegan Baking Book.

It's FANTASTIC.

I adapted this recipe from the Maple "Butter" Bars recipe in the cookie section, based on what I had in the kitchen. My gluten-loving boyfriend raved about the fudge-like consistency, saying, "You could easily sell these for two bucks a pop." Perhaps not, but I will share my version with you.

NOTE: If you use brown rice flour instead of teff, as the recipe originally requires, use a full cup of coconut oil. I could get away with less fat because of the fine grain of teff.

Apple-Molasses Fudge Bars, adapted from Flying Apron's Gluten-Free and Vegan Baking Book by Jennifer Katzinger

2-3/4 cups teff flour
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup coconut oil
1/2 cup apple syrup
1/2 cup molasses
1 tsp vanilla extract
1.5 oz raisins (optional)

Preheat the oven for 375 degrees F.

Combine teff flour and salt in a medium-sized bowl. In the bowl of a standing mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the coconut oil, apple syrup, molasses, and vanilla until well mixed. With the mixer on low speed, add the flour mixture slowly until well mixed, about 3 minutes. Turn off mixer and add raisins, stirring them into the batter with a spoon.

Spread the batter evenly into a parchment-lined 9x12-inch baking pan. Bake until edges harden slightly, about 15 minutes (I actually had to leave mine in an extra five minutes to finish). While the dough is still hot, score it into 12 pieces with a knife. After it has cooled, slice it the rest of the way through and remove the bars from the pan.

I also recently acquired The Allergen-Free Bakers Handbook by Cybele Pascal. I can't wait to bake some bread!

The First Thing I Ever Cooked...sorta

2010-06-10T12:32:00.001-07:00

The wonderful Shauna from Gluten Free Girl started some entertaining Twitter banter a week ago, asking about the first dish her followers ever cooked and how they felt as they were cooking. So many tweets (or twats) in such a short time later, a blog call resounded on the topic.

My initial response was more Dorothy Allison than Dorothy Gale, for sure. I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to tell the story of the first meal I ever cooked, as it invokes many unpleasant memories and involves way too many sordid details about my family history. So instead I will share the story of the first meal I ever cooked in my boyfriend's kitchen, long before we were dating. I know I'm a few days late for having it posted, but I'd rather it feel right for me.

I had been gluten-free for two months or so at this point, still trying (and more often than not, failing) to get a grasp of proper cooking technique. Despite the hidden gluten that I'm sure was in my diet at the time, I was feeling tremendously better than I had in my entire life. I had recently started dating someone, a film editor, and I was SO CERTAIN that this was going to work out for the best.

My friend Hannah and I had developed a live band karaoke addiction. If you've never done this, I recommend trying it at least once before completely writing me off. Due to my new dietary restrictions, I wasn't sure about eating at a restaurant, and so we set out finding a friend's apartment to invade, as we both lived on the far north side of Chicago and the LBK happened much closer to the Loop. Hannah's friend Chris, who lived in Logan Square, readily agreed to our impromptu dinner party--I had met Chris once before, a couple of months prior, at another LBK night, and he was apparently so taken with my rendition of the Stooges' "Search and Destroy" that he was foaming at the mouth afterwards. I wasn't sure what to make of his odd sincerity, but I thought he was cute and looked forward to seeing him again.

The night of the dinner party, film editor guy (FEG from now on) got stuck at work a little later than he'd expected. Our solution was for Hannah and I to hang out at Chris's place until FEG called to say he was ready, then she would pick up FEG while I finished dinner prep. I discovered something so familiar about Chris's kitchen, and his manner, that I found myself being less self-conscious and more open than usual. We listened to the Animals, Lightning Bolt, Fats Domino (all from his collection--I don't think I even brought music), and talked about life. I sang along to the stereo and danced around his kitchen, all while overcooking the rice pasta and not having enough sauce. (Hannah brought sausage, so Chris broiled it for the meat eaters in the crowd to have a little extra something for their plates.) When Hannah showed up with FEG, I froze a bit inside. No more dancing or open dialogue, just a hard, awkward peck on the cheek and a stilted meal.

I'm finding it less rare these days to feel ill at ease, but back then I was still fully entrenched in my protective outer layer. Chris, without any intention, stripped that away so quickly--he's one of the few people who has ever disarmed me like that. It took another eight months or so of sporadically hanging out and getting to know one another better before it hit me that I wanted to be with him for a very, very long time.

The meal itself was only remarkable because of how awful it was. But I will never forget that night or the shocking level of comfort I felt for as long as I live.

Eggs: The Other White Meat

2010-05-19T12:03:00.000-07:00

An executive decision has been reached: No more eggs.

You see, dear reader, this was not THAT difficult a conclusion to make. The last six months or so, every time I've eaten eggs I've gotten sick. Not life-threateningly sick, but a moderate malaise creeps into my bones and sticks around for hours. Perhaps I've always had reactions like this, and I ignored them because of the comfort of a perfect omelet or fried egg sandwich or baked eggs or souffle. I told myself, as long as I'm buying cage-free organic eggs, it's morally acceptable.

But no mas.

I realized already that the USDA's definition of "organic" is pretty watered down, but I wasn't fully aware of how bastardized it became in the last few years until reading Mr. Safran Foer's book Eating Animals. Did you know that "access to pasture" is interpreted merely as having a window in the facility? Hens are still kept indoors, and most of them never see pasture in their lifetimes, even the "organic" ones. Or that even eggs from hens marketed as cage-free in fact have as little personal space to move as hens kept in cages?

I didn't, but now I do.

I picked up Eating Animals at the library and stopped reading Marion Nestle's What to Eat in order to start it. (See a pattern here?) These two books have led me to the following conclusions:
--Many things I thought I knew about nutrition are wrong. Even Nestle, an avowed meat-eater, concludes that animal products are unnecessary to a healthy, nutrient-rich diet.
--Even most organic farming buys into the worst practices of factory farming, but kinder, gentler versions, making the majority of the organic food industry essentially a huge racket that plays on consumers' assumptions of animal welfare. I don't discourage anyone from buying organic produce, but organic animal production still sacrifices quality for the sake of profit in an inexcusable way.
--If I truly want to be part of making a difference in the quality of our world's food supply, vegetarianism is not enough--one has to pull out of the factory farm system completely and eat a vegan diet.

I'm starting with what feels easiest for me (and is something I don't eat as often as dairy): eggs. Why continue torturing myself if I am sensitive to eggs when the animal that produced those eggs lived a brief, unhealthy existence itself? I've made equally delicious baked goods with egg substitutes as I have with eggs, and I'm not convinced that we get as much nourishment from animals kept as close to death as possible during their entire lives as we think we do.

Safran Foer also does an excellent job of shooting down most excuses for not becoming vegetarians, especially Michael Pollan's famous table etiquette argument. If I make brussels sprouts for a dinner party and a couple of guests don't eat them because of taste preferences, why should I get offended? And why should a host or fellow dinner sharer become offended if I choose for various reasons (both health and, increasingly, moral) not to eat meat? If my opinions somehow threaten them, they're the ones who need to gain perspective on the situation and alter their behavior, not me.

Dairy, though, is going to be difficult to give up, primarily cheese. (I'm not a huge fan of milk.) Plus I still have a sizable hunk of chipotle gouda to finish--can't let perfectly good cheese go to waste.

Gluten-Free Summer Alcoholism

2010-04-10T12:06:00.001-07:00

Oh my Lord, I have a new addiction. The original plan was to create a strawberry basil Tom Collins, except my local grocer had no suitable strawberry juice. An imported cassis, though, piqued my curiosity. (Yes, they had cassis but not strawberry--that's your typical small Chicago grocery store for you.)

Cassis Collins

2 oz gin (I used G-Vine, which is distilled from grapes and totally gluten-free! not to mention delicious)
1 oz fresh squeezed Meyer lemon juice
1 oz black currant juice
1 tsp basil-infused simple syrup (directions below the recipe)
3 oz club soda

A typical Tom Collins contains refined sugar and is shaken, and I do not own a shaker so the simple syrup was my solution to this.

Combine gin, lemon and currant juice, and simple syrup in a glass. Stir until combined. Top with club soda and ice.

Basil Fawlty Simple Syrup: Create a simple syrup using equal parts sugar and water (instructions here). Before putting in the fridge to chill, throw in a handful of fresh basil leaves and allow to steep. The basil adds a nice cooling kick to the drink, similar to the mint in a Julep.

Another recent creation of mine is what my boyfriend dubbed the Al Gore, a mutation of the Moscow Mule using Firefly Sweet Tea vodka (Tennessee Democrat from Moscow Mule--get it?), which is distilled from corn and also gluten-free. Booze score!

I am a bit obsessed with mixology these days. I love liquid calories. What do you like to drink?

A Sweet Wheatless Guide to Roommates, Or How to Avoid Being Poisoned

2010-03-30T22:52:00.000-07:00

Here at Sweat Wheatless, I have had more than my fair share of insane roommates over the years, like the one who would take Ambien and eat all my food while sleepwalking, or the one who got a puppy without asking and then refused to have it properly housetrained, or the one who got me drunk and tried to have sex with me multiple times (female), or the one who had the terrible hippie rock band and would blast the Eagles on the living room stereo at an inordinate volume.

While my current roommate is admittedly not THAT bad, he has some opinions about paying bills on time that are, shall we say, divergent from the rest of us. He also considers washing his dishes after he eats "cleaning up after himself," disregarding all the crumbs left on the counter from his frozen pizzas and the like (and don't get me started on the lack of household help in other areas). Despite the fact that he's well fucking aware of my dietary restrictions, his blatant disregard for my health and my personal finances have led me to decide to part ways with him.

Here's your opportunity to learn from my mistakes!

Some tips for dealing with roommates when you are the one with the allergies/dietary restrictions:
1) If you are able, offer a discounted rent rate to the roommate for keeping the kitchen completely gluten-free. Write this into a lease rider or sublease agreement (whichever applies to you) to cover your ass--it's way easier to kick out a roommate who disregards your health when they've agreed to your terms in writing prior to moving into your home.

2) If this will not work for you or your potential roommate, find a space in the kitchen that's far away from where you keep your food--like an unused cabinet--and have them keep any glutenous items there. Insist that they purchase their own cooking utensils, tools, cookware, bakeware, etc., because using yours could make you very sick. You may even want to buy a kitchen island (if you have the space) and designate that as a gluten-free cooking surface.

3) Make sure to fully vet your potential roommates before making a final decision. Be firm; make sure they understand the gravity of the situation, even if you have to get into graphic TMI territory. (They're going to be living with you and hearing you fart and talk in your sleep--no need to be modest.) You don't want someone moving in who doesn't get it.

4) Fuck it--find the cheapest place you can and live with your cat. He might not help with the rent, but he sure as shit won't accidentally poison you, either.

Let me elaborate on that last point. If you want your roommate to remain cooperative with you, you often have to maintain the upper hand, i.e. being the sole person on a lease and putting them on a sublease. Since this puts you in financial risk, you might as well live alone and avoid the hassle.

Anyone else have any other suggestions to add to the list?

Taza Chocolate

2010-03-01T10:34:00.000-08:00

Linsey has been talking up Taza Chocolates for ages, and I was finally able to find them in the Chicago area. (Thank you, Green Grocer.) If you see them anywhere, buy them all. They exceeded my trumped expectations in terms of taste and texture--AND they're gluten-free!

My pancreas hates me already.

For the Lazy

2010-02-09T22:00:00.000-08:00

I tend not to advocate use of instant mixes for gluten-free baking. I completely understand why someone would seek that sort of thing out--for ease of use, because those are the baking methods with which one is typically raised these days--but more often than not the end result is, at the least, missing something, be it texture or taste.

I'm not sure what kind of voodoo the 1-2-3 Gluten-Free company is working, but keep doing it. This box is MAGIC. It produces the chewiest, most delightful gluten-free cookies this side of scratch: a terrific crumb, no sandy taste, easy to follow instructions. I threw chocolate chips into my cookies, and they were superb.

A completely unrelated story: Two years ago I went on a semi-blind date with a friend's roommate. A fellow musicphile, he played a particular single for me--one of the loveliest songs I've ever heard, an urgent Northern Soul battle cry. It's stuck with me all this time, in part because the guy bragged that I would never be able to find anything about it. I've never been one to shy away from a challenge. It took TWO YEARS, but I finally found it, having only the group name and knowledge of a light blue label on the 7" to go on.

As I am all about bringing accessibility to the obscure, let me present to you: The New Yorkers, who weren't from New York at all.

They recorded four songs for the Tac-Ful label, based in Hollywood, in the early 1960s. Led by Jimmy Gresham, a Korean War veteran who has served approximately half of a bunk thirty year prison sentence for conspiracy to traffic cocaine, there is not much more information known about the New Yorkers that I've been able to find. (That Sir Shambling website, by the way--fantastic. I suggest you explore a bit.) I have, however, been able to find all four songs. They're not the best quality audio files, but I'm thrilled to be able to hear them WHENEVER I WANT NOW--and to be able to share these gorgeous recordings with you.

The song I was played two years ago was "Don't Want to Be Your Fool," the b-side to "You Should Have Told Me".
Their final single was "Ain't That News", b/w "There's Going to Be a Wedding". While the first single is far superior, this one ain't shabby.

So please, while we in Chicago are getting snowed in, enjoy those links. Let me know what you think. While this isn't a music blog, music is one of my passions in life, much more so than most anything else. I tend to get a bit evangelical when I discover something I love.

Trader Joe's: Eat at Your Own Risk; and other rants

2010-01-15T17:12:00.000-08:00

Is it just me, or is Trader Joe's habit of labeling things as having "no gluten ingredients" while the fine print states that the food is manufactured on shared equipment with wheat a bit cynical? I will confess to buying many of these products, in part because I can't afford at this point the brands that I know are safe, but I feel as though I'm playing Russian roulette whenever I shop there.

And I must not read enough gluten-free food blogs, because I haven't seen this complaint voiced on the internet. I wonder how many people become ill because they don't notice the fine print--and because Trader Joe's is willing to mislead customers.

Enough of that. Here's what I've been enjoying lately.

Debutant Disco:

Lead singer Celeste Bell is the daughter of one of my all-time favorite frontpeople and songwriters, Poly Styrene. She has a few of her mother's vocal tics but is definitely her own voice.

And Bar-B-Q Killers

Contemporaries of R.E.M., fiercely led by Laura Carter. I found a copy of their only LP on eBay recently, which I highly recommend seeking out.

Malcolm Lowry's Under the Volcano--vaguely Graham Greene-esque in the best way possible.

Closely Watched Trains--Czech New Wave classic, somehow both delicate and humorous. The moral of the story? Don't die a virgin.

I'd have a new recipe for you, except I received a food processor for Christmas and have been making more hummus than a person can reasonably eat.

Pistachio-Rose Water Cookies

2009-12-31T16:06:00.000-08:00

NYE, 2007--A friend made these tremendous cookies for her year-birthing soiree. I ate several which I'm sure worsened the following day's hangover, as I was not yet gluten-free. Another attendee almost cried when he tasted them, saying that they reminded him of his Persian grandmother's cookies. Yes, they were that delicious.

I have been meaning to make a gluten-free version of these for so long, and New Years Day after the end of a pretty shitty year seemed like an appropriate occasion.

If you are veg-leaning, the cookbook from which this recipe originates is an excellent resource. Most of the gluten-free recipes are clearly labeled, and many of the unfriendly recipes are easy to convert. Not to mention DELICIOUS.

Pistachio-Rose Water Cookies
adapted from Veganomicon: The Ultimate Vegan Cookbook by Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero

Ingredients
1-1/4 cups sugar
1/4 cup safflower oil
1/4 cup coconut oil, melted
Note: I used this combo because I didn't have any canola oil on hand as originally called for in the recipe. I'm sure any mild flavored oil would work well.
3 Tbsp almond milk (subbing for rice milk)
1 Tbsp rose water
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 Tbsp fresh lime juice
1 tsp finely grated lime zest
1/4 cup arrowroot starch (subbing for cornstarch, as I had none on hand)
3/4 cup sweet brown rice flour
1/2 light buckwheat flour
1/2 cup sorghum flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp ground cardamom
3 Tbsp almond butter
3 Tbsp hot water
Note: The original recipe does not call for the two above ingredients. Without the gluten from the all-purpose flour, the dough was not sticking together as it should. I improvised this fix, and it worked remarkably well.
1/2 cup shelled pistachios, coarsely chopped

In a standing mixer (or mixing bowl with whisk if you do not have a standing mixer--don't worry, you can't overwork gluten-free dough), combine the sugar, oils, almond milk, rose water, vanilla, lime juice, and zest on the lowest setting. Once well combined, add the arrowroot starch and mix until dissolved.

Add the flours, baking powder, salt, and cardamom, and mix well. At this point, the dough will be rather crumbly and not very doughlike. Add the almond butter and water in tandem, one Tbsp of each at a time, until the dough begins to come together. Wrap the dough in parchment paper and store in the refrigerator for at least an hour, up to 24 hours in advance of baking.

Once you're ready to bake, line two cookie sheets with parchment paper and preheat the oven at 350 degrees.

Pinch off approximately 2 tsp-sized balls of dough, dip them in the pistachios, and put them on the cookie sheet nut side up.

Bake for 10 minutes, then remove from the oven and allow to cool. Enjoy.

Prospective Thanksgiving Menu--No Gluten, Will Travel

2009-11-17T20:08:00.000-08:00

Beet, potato, green bean, and wild rice salad
Lentil loaf
Mashed boiled peanuts
Sweet potato cupcakes

Whaddaya think?

Sweet Potato Casserole Cupcakes Redux

2009-11-16T19:07:00.000-08:00

Second time's a charm?

1/2 cup teff flour
1/2 cup sorghum flour
1/2 cup buckwheat flour
1/2 cup chestnut flour
3/4 cup arrowroot starch
1 1/4 tsp xanthan gum
1 Tbsp baking powder
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
3/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups firmly packed brown sugar
1/3 cup butter, room temperature
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup whole milk
2/3 cup cooked sweet potatoes (I used canned)
1/3 cup maple syrup
1/3 cup root beer

In large mixing bowl, combine teff, sorghum, buckwheat and chestnut flours, xanthan gum, baking powder, salt, and pumpkin pie spice. Mix on low until well combined.

In a separate bowl, cream the butter and brown sugar, then pour into a well formed in the flour mix. Add eggs, vanilla, milk, sweet potatoes, maple syrup, and root beer, then mix on low. The batter should be a lovely brown, whipped and filled with air.

Grease three mini cupcake tins (this recipe makes 36 mini cupcakes, or a baker's dozen regular sized cupcakes). Heat oven at 350 degrees and bake for 15-18 minutes or until done.

HOLY CRAP ARE THESE DELICIOUS!

Forthcoming: Marshmallow Fluff frosting recipe. I wish I had a torch to faintly brown the tops of each frosted cupcake...

Belly Shack

2009-11-13T12:42:00.000-08:00

I am resisting the urge to return to Belly Shack after work today. One of the few places in Chicago serving up inventive, delicious gluten-free AND vegan options.

I wrote a review about it. I will probably give in and get some tostones and quinoa wraps--I am SO WEAK in the face of this food.

If you have issues with gluten and you are anywhere near Chicago, do not hesitate to visit Belly Shack. Despite the silly name and logo (invoking circa 1993 Miami Beach airbrush shop), your tongue--and insides--will thank you.

A conversion!

2009-11-09T19:47:00.000-08:00

I just made these sweet potato cupcakes, sans icing, with a few modifications.

1 1/2 cups firmly packed brown sugar
1/3 cup butter, room temperature
2 eggs (I used the egg replacer equivalent)
1 tsp vanilla
2 3/4 cups Bob's Red Mill All-Purpose Gluten-Free Baking Flour (too lazy to figure out a proper GF flour mix on the fly)
1 1/4 tsp xanthan gum
1 Tbsp baking powder
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
3/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup whole milk
1 cup cooked sweet potatoes (I used canned)
1/3 cup root beer

I did not follow the directions as written (mix dry into wet? really?). I mixed the flour, gum, baking powder, spice, and mix with my mixer; creamed together the butter, "eggs," and sugar as directed; dumped the wet stuff into a well created in the dry ingredients; and mixed all at once on the lowest setting.

It creates a thick, glutenous cake-like batter. I replaced the bourbon with root beer due to 1) cost and 2) carbonation, which adds a bit of "lift" to gluten-free doughs.

I just tried one of the finished cupcakes, and I think these might not be half bad. They'd probably be better with either a bit more sugar or some icing.

I don't know if these will need much tweaking for Thanksgiving, thank GOD! Though I do want to incorporate maple syrup or molasses into the final batch. The plan is to make marshmallow icing and have them be a cupcake bastardization of sweet potato casserole. Makes 36 mini cupcakes.

I'll update this with any other alterations I make.

Vegetarian Times October 2009 Issue

2009-11-04T14:52:00.000-08:00

Buy it now, thank me later. This issue is PACKED with gluten-free recipes, including three different GF pizza crusts and a polenta pizza, among other delights.

I've been meaning to write blog entries about my recent visit to NYC, but I've been kept busy by a new job. Yes, I'm a working woman again; more on that later.

Nanner Bread

2009-09-28T18:51:00.000-07:00

I currently await a finished loaf of banana bread, based on my friend Linsey's recipe. In my bread maker, if the fucking thing doesn't set itself on fire. (First time user; I turned it on without cleaning out the oven part beforehand. That was stupid.)

I veganized it by using Spectrum Vegetable Shortening, egg replacer, coconut milk with lemon juice to ape buttermilk, and vegan chocolate chips. (I'm not a vegan--I could never give up my cheese and occasional omelets--but I rarely keep any eggs or dairy other than cheese and yogurt in the fridge.) So far the edges have risen and cooked more than the middle, which scares me despite the fact that I'm less than twenty minutes into baking it.

My sweet new (to me) KitchenAid C-3 mixer also made its usage debut this evening. I found the mixer without accoutrements at a thrift shop for next to nothing, then bought a second, non-working mixer of the same model on eBay for parts. Happiness is that faint yellow hunk of metal, probably older than my mother, sitting on the small red table I keep in the kitchen as makeshift counter space. Chicago apartments criminally lack kitchen counters.

The thing about gluten-free bread is that the dough is often not doughy at all. This batter was much more fluid than most breads. There are exceptions--the artisan crusty bread I made at Christmas last year was a fairly firm lump before I tossed it into the dutch oven. (Yeah, I snicker too whenever I see it.)

I hope this shit is edible. I'm going to cast on for my new knitting project (GAH! Blog crossover!) and await the next forty minutes with patience, drafty windows, and the Kinks. If this goes well, perhaps I'll begin saluting autumn's onset with a sweet, crusty loaf of banana bread each year.

Lazy Sick Ass!

2009-09-24T09:34:00.000-07:00

So I never made it to Whole Foods to buy the ingredients for banana bread. (TOMORROW, THOUGH!) I instead took my reserve energy, walked to the nearest grocery store, and bought the few things I'd need for an excellent pot of "white" chili.

Which turned out to be more green than white, but I digress.

My kitchen smelled stupid good last night, and I can attest that no nose drippings fell into the stockpot. Seriously.

Here's the recipe--I'll add a picture later, once I've got my shit together for the day. I'm still sneezy and a little runny but starting to feel much, much better, despite the lack of sleep.

Green Chili

Ingredients:
1 large red onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 medium poblano chili, roasted (instructions below) and chopped
1 green pepper, diced
7-9 tomatillos, roasted and chopped
8oz extra firm tofu, crumbled
1/2 cup dried lentils, soaked for approx. 3 hours and drained
2 cups vegetable broth
3/4 cup dried chickpeas, partially cooked (speeds overall chili cooking time)
1 tsp chili powder
1 tsp curry powder
1 tsp cumin
Cilantro to taste, coarsely chopped
Salt and pepper to taste

*I intentionally made this vegan on the off chance I have a vegan guest in the next week, but I'm sure this recipe would also be good with chicken stock and ground turkey. I wouldn't know!

Roasting:
I would recommend doing this the day before, because I did this all at once and my kitchen was sweltering.

Using a well-oiled (I used safflower oil because it can handle high temps) roasting dish, slice the poblano into four roughly equal sized strips, place in dish, and pop under the broiler, approx. 7 minutes on each side or until charred. Remove from broiler, and place pepper on a plate to cool. Once cool, peel the skin--it should detach fairly easily.

Using the same dish, cut each tomatillo in half and roast as many halves as you can fit in the dish at one time. Broil for around 5 minutes on each side, then place in a large bowl to cool. As with the poblano, peel the skin once the tomatillos are cool. Make sure to do this over a bowl--you will need the reserved juices.

At this point, your baking dish will be covered in juices and other detritus. Pour 1 cup hot water (the hottest you can get from your tap) and let the dish soak. You will use this water to make part of the broth, so scrape up all the charred bits from the bottom for extra flavor.

Chili:
In a large stock pot, pour around 1 Tbsp oil and saute the onion until it begins to turn translucent. Add garlic and roasted poblano and cook for 5 minutes. Add the liquid from your baking dish and simmer. Add green pepper.

You may choose to brown the tofu prior to adding to the stock pot. Since this was my bastardization of white chili, I threw it directly into the broth. Freezing, thawing, and draining the living crap out of the tofu will make it extra firm and chewy.

Add the tomatillo innards (I left the seeds for texture--they're so small you don't need to remove them) and reserved juice. Add lentils and all spices except cilantro and simmer for ten minutes. Add veggie stock, cilantro, and chickpeas, and simmer for twenty minutes or until the lentils are just starting to fall apart.

I lied, I forgot to take a photo before I ATE IT ALL because it was so delicious. Take that for what it's worth.

Cold(s and) Comfort

2009-09-22T14:05:00.000-07:00

I saw Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band Sunday night and went to a White Sox game last night, wearing my now wretched smelling Iggy Pop sweatshirt to both events. Hey, I'm always cold, the United Center competed with a meat locker for air conditioning, and the weather was cold and drizzly last night.

And now, after a week of feeling the familiar sinus irritation and morning sore throats, I'm on the verge of a raging cold. My roommate had the flu a couple of weeks ago, though, so I'm hoping I can stave off anything so dire.

My solution today? Making lazy spicy soup and banana bread.

The soup involves a cup of Trader Joe's Lime and Chile Mixed Nuts (too spicy to eat on their own, perfect as a soup seasoning) and two cups of water. Throw in pot. Boil. That's it. Boil it long enough and a fragrant, sinus-burning broth will result.

The banana bread will come later, as will (hopefully) photos of (hopefully) a delicious loaf. I bought a bread maker almost a year ago and think it's time to use it. I just have to get off my lazy ass and pick up a few more supplies for it.

The rest of the day will involve watching movies, knitting, and cuddling with my cat.

Oh yeah, I got a cat. I haven't updated this in that long? Huh. I also lost my job in August. I'm going to NYC and Boston in a few weeks to visit friends and see the Raincoats. My best friends are getting married to one another next weekend. I had the greatest, yet quietest, birthday of my life so far, and I am so lucky, despite any apparent hardship.

Gone Are the Days

2009-07-06T11:14:00.000-07:00

Photographs and stories soon. For now, you have music.

Doing Something Right

2009-05-18T07:52:00.000-07:00

I don't know what I'm doing right these days, but my GI tract is finally starting to cooperate with me. It feels excellent.

The last week has been excellent. I found a gorgeous, affordable new apartment after less than two weeks of looking. I've decided to put off grad school for another year and focus on getting my life and health back together--and so I don't feel so rushed during the application process. I've been preparing for a camping trip and a family visit. I saw the Vaselines on Saturday night, arriving at the venue less than ten minutes before their set started (sorry, opening act!) and had a hell of a time. Chris and I played tourist yesterday, viewing the newly minted Modern Wing of the Art Institute of Chicago, walking around the Chicago Cultural Center (he got to reminisce about his early days in radio under the Tiffany dome), strolling down the riverwalk to Navy Pier for the Green Festival, having a couple of drinks at the Hancock Building (during which I discovered that I run fevers at high altitudes? weird), and heading home to a quiet dinner. I've started physical therapy on my neck and shoulders--I've been plagued with severe tension headaches since early childhood, and while I'm still getting headaches I have more mobility in my neck than I've had in a long time.

The job situation is still iffy, but I still HAVE a job, which is the important thing. I've been having a difficult time focusing at work, but I think that's a lingering remnant of depression.

I'm very excited about the new apartment, that I can start fresh. New (to me) furniture, a clean AND gluten-free kitchen (until I find a roommate, that is), a neighborhood in which I already feel comfortable, a shorter commute to work thanks to Metra--I can't wait to maximize the opportunity for growth, personal and creative. I can't wait to have a space that's truly, truly MINE.

That's it for now...have a happy week!

Congratulations Maine!

2009-05-06T10:37:00.000-07:00

My next baking experiments

2009-04-30T08:40:00.000-07:00

--dark chocolate brownies with blueberries
--white chocolate, lime, and coconut cookies
--granola with gluten-free oats, various dried fruits, and molasses

And I'm dying to try Whole Foods' meringue cookies.

I'm taking the GRE in two days. EEEEEEEK!

Perspective

2009-04-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

My sister-in-law lost her job two weeks ago. A week later, she found out that she's pregnant with her second--my brother's third--child.

It makes my problems seem so small. It's the most surprising news I could have received today.

They've faced greater challenges as a couple--a child with celiac, poverty, ghosts from previous lives, stress. My brother worked and went to school full-time for four years, finishing near the head of his class, after my youngest niece's birth. They will thrive through this.

But shit...talk about bad timing.

This Moment of Emotional Clarity Sponsored By Caffeine

2009-04-27T11:09:00.000-07:00

I envy those who enjoy their jobs, the people who receive fulfillment from a full day of productivity, who don't feel that each task is mindnumbing and menial, who don't feel that their efforts are worthless.

One day, I will have one of those jobs--no, a career. It will be something I've sacrificed and worked harder for than anything else in my life.

That is all.

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By the way, Throbbing Gristle was amazing live. Even with a cold.

Un-abandonment

2009-04-24T07:11:00.000-07:00

I abandoned this blog for a plethora of reasons; I'll get into those later.

I've had a Thanksgiving/Christmas post in the making since November. Never completed. I created some incredible chocolate cupcakes with Nutella frosting, along with broccoli cheddar polenta and asparagus shallot salad, all in an attempt to impress my boyfriend's family during our first official meeting. No one realized that the cupcakes were gluten-free until Chris pointed out that fact--they were so moist and light. (Recipe here.)

Christmas involved a trip to Tennessee to visit my family. I made artisan bread and carrot cake for me and my gluten-intolerant niece to enjoy. She didn't like the bread, but she gave the cake the Madison seal of approval.

I love my family, and I will defend them to the death. And yet I have a very tempestuous relationship with them, especially my mother. Over the years I've watched her become more depressed, more out of control, more manipulative. I've grown as a person at an exponential rate since living hundreds of miles away from her constant influence, but being around her for days on end, housebound with no access to transportation except at her whim, set me back tremendously psychologically.

I returned to Chicago in a funk, and this funk has stuck around until today. It's grown into a full-fledged major depressive episode.

Exacerbating this condition:
--My gastroenterologist wanted to test me for celiac disease, so we'd know for certain. The genetic test came back positive, and in order to come up with a conclusive diagnosis, I had to eat gluten on a daily basis for a month. I made sure to eat things I enjoyed, like deep dish pizza and Polish food.

The endoscopy went well, but the results came back normal. I could not conclusively be diagnosed with celiac disease.

I'll tell you what--I became very ill during that month, both physically and mentally. It's been two weeks since the procedure, and I'm just starting to feel human again. Even if the biopsy came back normal, I now REALLY have confirmation that gluten--and perhaps carbohydrates in general--makes me sick.

--My job has gone down the tubes. Even though I'm still performing well, despite my health problems, my work has diminished enough to be noticeable. And my job is demanding and thankless, requiring me to operate at 100% most days. I've been at 80% on my best days, which have become fewer and farther between. As the depression has mounted, I've become more withdrawn from my coworkers. On top of this, after I disclosed that I have been struggling with depression over the last several months, the environment has become increasingly hostile--even my own manager talks about me behind my back. I'm awaiting the ax at any moment.

One thing is certain: I will more than likely never disclose those sorts of health problems to managers or coworkers again. Consider yourself schooled, dude.

I do have allies in the office, but they've been put in a very compromising position. While I regret that, I recognize that I didn't chose for this situation to snowball like it has.

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What's keeping me afloat? Chris has been a godsend. I can't even describe how patient, loving, and generous he's been. I knew he was amazing when I initially befriended him--I had no idea what rewards and surprises this relationship would hold for both of us. He humbles me; he makes me grateful for the positivity in my life.

I've tried not to withdraw too much from friends, but with the coinciding winter...that was unintentionally easy. Those who still answer the phone when I'm brave enough to call: Thank you. I promise this will be over soon, and I will be back to my normal self.

I'm in the process of applying for graduate school. I have no idea if I'll even be accepted.

I strive every day to learn how to be healthy. It may not take effect immediately, but eventually it will be second nature. I can learn from my past now and stop reliving it over and over and over again.

I've bought a shitload of records in the last few months that I haven't really listened to yet. I'm talking at least 50. The prospect of devouring those in the coming weeks--all that discovery and rediscovery, renewal, and ecstasy. I'm looking forward to it. I also have tickets for several upcoming shows: Throbbing Gristle (tomorrow!), the Vaselines, Peter Brotmann, Jonathan Richman. I haven't had this many shows to attend in a long time.

Today, it's sunny and 80-something degrees outside. I may be stuck at work today, with a tremendous headache, stuffy nose, throat so sore I can't even speak...but I can look for excuses to run errands. I'm going to do that now.

I won't make any promises about my next posting...but I'm cautiously optimistic that it will be soon, and it will be interesting.

Comings and Goings

2008-09-04T08:44:00.000-07:00

I was, as Shauna James Ahern would say, glutenized last night.

It's my own damn fault. Poor judgment is spreading beyond McCain this season. At an after-work social event, I grabbed a Jimmy Johns sub and proceeded to eat the fillings with a fork, forsaking the bread. That little voice in my colon was screaming, Please don't do this to me, PLEASE don't--and I didn't listen. I'm paying for that mistake now.

When my alarm beeped this morning, I sat up, dizzy and woozy. I couldn't find my shoes. I took the longest shower in history because I was snailing. I didn't wake up in time to eat breakfast or grab coffee before I had to head out the door.

The gray drizzle and cool pre-autumn breezes chipped through a bit of my all-too-familiar mental fog. I nearly walked straight into oncoming traffic, catching myself and halting just before the sidewalk swooped into the road. I sat on the train in a daze, unable to read (Pynchon's Vineland involves far more attentiveness than a celiac-induced disorientation will allow), staring out of the window, at my lap, wherever my tired eyes fell, feeling every ache in my bones and intestines. Even now, focusing on writing this passage is taxing.

I almost forgot what this felt like.

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One of my friends asked a few months ago the reason I took down my first celiac blog. It was a series of vignettes, minuscule, simple posts, that I didn't feel reflected well upon my experiences.

I deleted it because I know embarrassingly little about food.

I was raised in a family in which "from scratch" meant to break out the Bisquick. So I barely know any cooking basics. I wasn't even aware that I was cooking rice wrong until a couple of weeks ago.

I suppose it's best to be forthright about that fact, that this will be a documentation of that learning process.

*******************************************************************************************************************
I was never a sickly child. I was quiet, shy, easily confused and manipulated, but bright. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in the nearest overstuffed armchair or corner and read. I frequently would stay up all night reading in the bathroom, because no one would notice, and struggle not to fall asleep at my desk the next day. I ate many sandwiches and hot dogs on bleached white bread.

I mysteriously developed severe myopia at a young age. Mom would never go for this because she refused to carry health insurance on me and my brother, but my ophthalmologist recommended a CAT scan during each visit--he said that this level of near-sightedness in one so young was typically the result of neurological damage.

I began having migraines post-puberty. They remained infrequent, maybe one or two per year, until I hit my early 20s, when they arrived by season. The number increased over the years, so by 2007 I was having one or two migraines per month. During the winter of 2003, I caught a nasty gastrointestinal virus ("Civil War sick") and was plagued by digestive problems for years after the fact. My guts were relentless, and I did everything I could imagine to try to fix it to no avail.

I became a vegetarian in January 2005 during my final semester of college. While I remain a vegetarian because of moral and ethical issues, this decision had a wider negative impact on my health than I could fathom at the time. I resulted in my ingesting far more wheat products, for protein, than I would have otherwise. I developed severe depression, and the brain fog clung to me, preventing me from completing assignments as quickly and as clearly as I used to. I would stay awake for days on end, fueled by Red Bull and coffee, growing more and more frustrated with my inability to keep up with the workload. Some nights I'd faint at 3am from sleep deprivation, and I'd miss the following day's class or deadline. By May I was suicidal, making horrific decisions, and just generally being the unhealthiest I'd ever been in my life. I took incomplete grades in three courses and finished the work for one of those during the summer. (I still have an incomplete on my transcript, but it was an elective that didn't prevent me from receiving my degree.)

Needing a dire change, I moved to Chicago in August 2005. I ate corn tortillas and refried beans, because I couldn't afford much else at first, and grabbed cheese sticks, a small hunk of bread, and a banana during my lunch breaks (less than $2). Once I found a "real" job and could afford to feed myself, I stuck with meat substitutes, seitan, whole grain bread, thinking that I was being healthy, that I was feeding my body what it needed. I was instead destroying it.

Like this morning, I would sleep through my alarm, slowly, dizzily crawl out of bed, eat breakfast, and run to work. I would have random belly swelling, and my closet contained pants ranging in sizes 0 to 6 to accommodate these strange physical size changes--even though I gained no weight. Many mornings also included assplosions right as I would be heading to the office, resulting in being tardy. (Dude, you're reading a celiac blog, expect to read about the shits I take.) My job performance otherwise was considered excellent, and I fiscally was rewarded for it. But as my health deteriorated, I began to wonder what in the world was wrong.

During the same week in 2005, my youngest niece was hospitalized for seizures and my maternal grandfather was diagnosed with colon cancer, and my brother was suffering from a flare-up of severe colitis at the time. My niece had weird rashes pop up that would never disappear, regardless of the ointment applied or medication taken. Doctors were baffled, and by age four she had developed ulcers. A new doctor took a look at her case and immediately suspected celiac. She was too young for a colonoscopy, but the antibody test and other procedures confirmed the worst.

But she could be healed by removing gluten from her life.

The family was shocked. What the fuck is gluten?, we asked ourselves. My sister-in-law had the celiac testing done with negative results, which led to one conclusion--my niece inherited the gene for the disease from my brother. (He still has not been tested, even though he will admit to having the symptoms. It's also apparent that his eldest daughter has the disorder, but the ex-wife won't have her tested.)

The more research I did, the more frighteningly familiar everything sounded.

In January, amid poverty and heartbreak, I decided to stop eating gluten for two weeks as an experiment. I added yogurt and probiotics to my diet. Within those two weeks, I had more energy, I was thinking more clearly than I had in YEARS, and my torso shrank back to its flat state and stayed that way. I stuck with it, and within another month I was, for the first time in my life, taking regular, solid dumps. It was amazing. My body felt miraculous. I looked hot and felt healthy.

I've stuck with it pretty strictly since then, but the last month has been chaotic. I recently moved and I've been eating take-out more often than I can justify. I've been getting sick again. My anus itches and bleeds.

Which I suppose is advantageous, now that I have health insurance again and can be properly tested myself for celiac. But that doesn't mean I'm enjoying it.